Baking on a rainy day (AKA disastrous donuts)

Baking on a rainy day (AKA disastrous donuts)

Monday, 23 April 2012

Sure, they look OK, but they tasted hideous.

When the rain is falling down, you're stuck inside and there's nothing better to do, you'll usually find me in the kitchen. Particularly if my friend Naomi is visiting.

While I'm fairly brilliant at normal cooking, I'm a disaster area when it comes to baking. My cakes never rise, my breads fall flat and my donuts? Well, we'll come to that.

I'd wanted to have a go at making Jamie Oliver's donuts for a while. Mostly because I effing love donuts (you won't find better than at my favourite bakery in Rye and on Brighton Pier).

So sure was I that they would turn out amazingly, I photographed each step so you could learn from my wisdom...

Flour, butter, sugar and lemon zest.

Mix some yeast and warm milk and leave to rise.

Mix to form a dough, initially in a blender but then by hand when you realise the blender doesn't work.

Leave dough in a warm place to rise to double its size.

Throw a micky fit when you realise the dough has not risen AT ALL.

Decide to go ahead and roll the feckers out anyway

Make a Moscow Mule and toffee popcorn because you're sure as hell not eating donuts tonight

Look at your sorry shit heap of burnt donuts and rue the day you ever thought of making them

Cover some of the non-burnt ones in sugar. Eat and immediately spit out when you realise they are dense and raw.

Make another Moscow Mule. Cry.

There you have it!